The Secret To Holding A Conversation On Dating Apps!
Author: Sasha Gray
Published at Sep 26, 2023
In the realm of online dating, a well-crafted message can be the key that unlocks a world of potential connections. Yet, for many, striking up and sustaining a conversation that facilitates connections can be a daunting task. The initial exchange helps to build the foundation and set the tone for what the remainder of your interaction with your potential match looks like
In this post we’ll dive deep into some strategies for keeping your conversations alive and interesting for both you and your match!
Crafting A Memorable Opener
The first message on a dating app is more often than not where the conversation ends. If you’re first message isn’t enticing enough to get your match to respond, the conversation can end there. Your goal with your first message is to create interest and to make it very easy for your match to respond without needing to think about it too hard.
There will be plenty of time after your first message to forge a deeper connection and get to know your match. The first message should be a juicy tidbit to hook them in and get the conversation started in a direction that can be maintained! Consider the following tips for kicking off your conversations
Avoid Generic Greetings

If your greeting can be copy pasted or used with anybody you match with, you’re probably not going to have a very good response rate wth it. Many of the people that you’ll be matching with will have countless other messages saying “Hey!” or “Hello”.
These greetings may be polite, but they aren’t very interesting and are unlikely to pique your matches interest.
Mention Something From Their Profile
The best kinds of openers mention something directly from your matches profile. It shows to them that you’ve taken the time to invest some energy in reading through their profile and are making an effort to connect!
People also love to talk about themselves, so this is a great foundation to a conversation that leads in a direction that’s easy to keep maintain and is also a powerful hook to get that all important first response.
Ask a Unique Question
If your match doesn’t have anything for you to latch onto for your opening message on their profile, consider starting with an interesting (but not too difficult to answer) question. Since your first message sets the tone for the rest of your conversation, make sure to consider what a potential response to your question looks like and think about what the conversation might look like after that point.
Many questions are interesting or might be funny, but are hard to follow up on with a real conversation where you are able to make a connection. The ideal first question is easy to answer, tells you something about your match, and gives you a good jumping off point for follow up conversation.
Actively Listen And Don’t Be Too Eager To Talk About Yourself

We all love to talk about ourselves, but in a dating scenario, it’s important to do your best to not be too eager to take the spotlight from your conversational partner. Display interest in what they’re telling you and be careful not too ignore information that’s offered up in messages. Often times our conversational partners will drop something into a conversation in hopes that we’ll want to know more about it, so don’t ignore these bids!
Also try to be thoughtful with your response and consider what it might look like for someone to respond to the message that you send. The most common reason that conversations die out is that one party responds with something that doesn’t give their partner something to latch on to for a follow up message.
If you do find that the only appropriate response is something that might be hard to follow up on, consider pivoting the conversation after your response by attaching a new question/topic to your response!
Add Humor An Make Your Conversation Light
Humor is a universal language that can bridge gaps and create instant connection between you and your match. It’s also a trait that is commonly listed as most desireable in a potential romantic partner.
In the realm of online dating, a well-timed joke or a clever quip can be the secret ingredient that turns a casual chat into a memorable interaction. Playful banter and light teasing can also be effective tools for building rapport, but they should be used carefully and always with respect for the other person’s boundaries.
When deployed thoughtfully, humor has the power to not only elicit genuine smiles but also to forge a deeper connection between potential partners. So, don’t feel the need to keep your conversations purely factual or too serious!
Transitioning To A Meetup

As engaging as your conversation ma be, conversation should be the start of something bigger, rather than an end goal. The goal of a conversation on the dating app should at some point become to turn your virtual chat into a real world connection. Recognizing the signs of mutual interest is key and conversation that go on for too long without making the leap to the real world will often die out.
When proposing a meetup, opt for a casual encounter in a public place which should help your date to feel a bit more at ease and will increase the likelihood that they’ll agree to a date! Trust your instincts and when the time feels right, take that bold step forward and ask if they’d like to meetup!
While navigating online dating conversations can be quite tricky, improving in this area will allow you to convert more of your matches into dates where you can really get to know your partner. Every exchange is a chance to practice your conversational skills and to grow as a communicator.
Also remember that you should be evaluating how much of a connection you feel with your match rather than just blindly moving forward with the goal of meeting up for a date. If things don’t feel right for you, don’t feel the need to continue expending energy engaging in a conversation that isn’t going anywhere