Money can often be an uncomfortable topic to talk about in relationships, but is also the largest source of relationship conflict. It’s important to address your finances and keep open lines of communicated around money for the benefit of the long term health of your relationships.

Finding a balance that works for both partners is crucial for a healthy and harmonious partnership. It’s important to set expectations early on, especially if you and your partner come from different financial backgrounds or have different financial means.

In this article we’ll explore some practical tips and strategies to help you navigate the complexities of managing money together

1. Open And Honest Communication

The foundation of a relationship should be open and honest communication, and in finances things are no different! Start by sitting down with your partner and having an open conversation about your financial situations and goals.

This includes things like income, expenses and debts. This upfront audit is important to make sure that both partners have an accurate image of the other’s financial situation. It’s important to be honest at this stage and to not hide things, even if it’s uncomfortable to share.

It’s much easier to talk about these things now while the stage is set for it, than having your partner find out at a later point.

2. Set Mutual Goals

Discuss and establish financial goals that align with both of your lifestyles and goals! Whether you want to save up for a dream vacation, to purchase a home, or to plan for retirement, it’s important to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page.

At this point, evaluate these goals against your current financial situation to see where you currently stand compared to where you want to be. Break down your goals into actionable steps and start taking steps in this direction!

Having goals that both you and your partner can contribute to will give you a shared goal to work towards, and the first step to getting the things that you want in life, is to decide what it is you want!

3. Define Financial Responsibilities And Boundaries

At this point you know where you stand and have a plan of action to make you and your partner's goals a reality. The next step is to clearly define what each partner's role will be in getting there!

This may involve dividing up tasks like budgeting, paying bills and making investment decisions. Assigning these roles in a way that plays to each of your strengths will allow you both to reduce the planning burden on each person, by batching tasks for both partners together.

This can also help to create a shared sense of responsibility and ensure that both partners are actively involved in financial decision making.

4. Establish A Budget

Creating a joint budget that outlines your combined income, savings, and expenses is a great first step towards achieving your financial goals. This budget should reflect your shared priorities and values.

Be sure to allocate budget for more than just the essentials and don’t be afraid to spend money on experiences that will serve to deepen your relationship (if you have the means to do so). Also be sure to leave room for autonomy and for fun purchases for each partner while still keeping in mind your larger financial plans.

5. Maintain Each Partner’s Financial Independence

Managing money together is important, but it is equally important to allow each partner in a relationship to maintain some level of autonomy. Each partner should still have their own personal accounts and discretionary spending budget. This autonomy can help to foster a sense of trust and respect for each other's financial decision making ability.

Allowing just one person to dominate financial planning or feeling the need to share every bit of your financial picture in a partnership can feel overbearing and doesn’t work for most couples. Consider trial running different financial arrangements for short periods of time before settling on one if the approach you’re considering doesn’t feel like it works in your situation.

An added benefit of having personal bank accounts is that it allows for surprising your partner with things like gifts!

6. Plan For Emergencies And Unexpected Expenses

Life happens! Part of your financial goal planning should include creating a financial safety net for those unexpected situations. Even the most solid of financial plans can be toppled by an unexpected medical emergency, a totalled car, or a family member in need.

Make sure that before you start trying to build your financial future, you have some money put aside for the unexpected. This will reduce your financial stress and help to provide a safety net to help you and your partner sleep at night.

7. Regularly Review And Adjust

Perhaps the most important thing take away from this article is this point. Financial planning is not something that you can do once then forget about it. Circumstances change, and so should your financial plans. These regular check ins can also be a good way to check on progress and see if both parties are sticking to the plan.

This ongoing dialogue ensures that you both stay aligned with each other’s goals and are able to adapt to any changes in your financial situations.

As a last note, if you find that your partner is not holding up their end of the financial plan, approach the conversation from a place of understanding. It’s important at this point to clarify why it’s important to you and to your partner to follow your plan and coming into the conversation with anger is not the best way to change their behavior.

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Navigating the intersection between finances and love can be a tricky thing to do and will require patience, leaning and being understanding with your partner. We all come from different financial backgrounds and have different means, but this guide should equip you with the tools that you need to build a strong financial foundation for your relationship.

Remember it’s not about how much money you have, but rather how you’re able to manage it together that will ultimately make or break your relationship.